Smaaaart Barber

Sarkari Nai (Barber) ne baal kaat-te waqt Kapil Sibbal se poochha - Saab ye

Swiss bank wala kya lafda hai ?

Kapil Sibbal shouted - Abey tu baal kaat raha hai ya inquiry kar raha hai ?

Nai ( Barber)- Sorry saab aise hi poochh liya.

Agle din Pranab Mukerji se bal Kaat-ke waqt poojha - Saab ye kala dhan kya

hota hai ?

Pranab shouted - Tum humse ye sawaal q poochha ?

Nai - Sorry saab bas aise hi poochha liya.

Next day CBI interrogated the Nai - Are u an agent of Baba Ramdev ?

Nai - Nahi saab ji.

CBI - Kya tum Anna k agent ho ?

Nai - Nahi saab ji.

CBI - To tum baal kat-te waqt Congressi netaon se faltu k sawaal q karte ho?

Naayi - Saab na jane q Swiss bank aur kale dhan k naam par in Congress wale ke baal khade ho jate hain aur mujhko baal kaatne me aasani ho jati hai , isliye poochhta rehta hoon.

Heaven & Hell

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said,

' God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand..'

It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

Marriage

You Start with year One; and boy she's a sweet bun full of fun.

Two year in it Dude; life could'nt be more good.

Four years on; she says it all n u dont go on.

You are onto Six; n she says a peg is too much of a Fix.

Seven year Itch; u find life is nuthin but a Bitch.

Ten year Run; life aint no more Fun.

You git on the eleventh year; you lose your things that are so dear.

And when you touch yer Twenty; you are the wise counsel to a plenty.

For 25 years you Slog; your just another Old Stupid Dog.

Motivation

There was a farmer who collected horses; One day a horse became very ill so he called the veterinarian.

The vet said:

Well, your horse has a virus. We'll give him this medicine for three days. If on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Standing nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation, and approached the Horse and he wanted to motivate the Horse.

The pig said:

- Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep! The Horse heard it, but did not make an attempt.

On the second day, the Vet gave the horse the medicine .

The pig came back to the horse and said:

-Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three..., yet the horse did not move or even try to do so.

On the third day, the vet said:

- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow, otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:

- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! The Horse slowly responded..

The Pig goaded the Horse and every step the Horse took to get up and every effort it made, the Pig prodded it much more. finally the Horse Stood up and started Trotting. The Pig Goaded it to run, and so did the Horse.

All of a sudden, the owner came back, and saw the horse running in the field and began shouting:

- It's a miracle! My horse is cured.

This deserves a party.

So that night they Killed the Pig and feasted on it, while the Horse was fed the best feed and groomed much more well, he was the Champion who had fought back.

Points for reflection:

This often happens in most of organizations’. Sometimes nobody truly knows who actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

Rumi's Ghazal #.838

Mevlana (moulana) Jalalluddin Rumi's sufi verses:

Ghazal #.838

if you pass your night ; and merge it with dawn for the sake of heart
what do you think will happen

if the entire world ; is covered with the blossoms you have labored to plant
what do you think will happen

if the elixir of life ; that has been hidden in the dark fills the desert and towns
what do you think will happen

if because of ; your generosity and love a few humans find their lives
what do you think will happen

if you pour an entire jar ; filled with joyous wine on the head of those already drunk
what do you think will happen

go my friend ; bestow your love even on your enemies
if you touch their hearts
what do you think will happen

The Art of Theft - FlexiTheif

BARCELONA: A flexible thief squeezed into a large suitcase and then emerged to plunder valuables from other bags while inside the luggage compartment of a Spanish airport bus, police say.

The thief had a partner who would buy a bus ticket and place the suitcase in a bus from Girona airportto Barcelona in northeastern Spain, police said in a statement late Tuesday.

"Once the trip began, he would get out of the suitcase, search for valuable objects and hide them in a smaller bag he carried with him," regional Catalan police said.

The thief would then get back into the suitcase, to be reclaimed by his partner at the end of the 90-minute trip.

Alerted by the repeated thefts, police inspected a suspicious bag on the bus on June 3 and opened it up. "They saw there was a man doubled up almost like a contortionist," the statement said.

The man had a mobile phone, a small bag and a sharp object to open zips and locks, police said. Officers boarded the bus and detained the man who had left the suitcase in the luggage compartment.

Source

A True Satyagrah: a tale not to be of a ramdev or a sri sri.

The Story of a True Hero, a True Satyagrah, not a Farce but a true Fast for a Righteous Cause. Unlike many others Swamis, who of late have clamored and attained their branding through various media campaigns and have been portrayed as the true saviors or freedom fighters and representatives of the Civil Society, a true hero, who fought till his last breath for a righteous cause, though not noticeable he be, he shall ever remain a Real Hero.

Source

NEW DELHI/DEHRADUN: Union environment minister Jairam Ramesh on Tuesday blamed the Uttarakhand government for the death of the seer of Haridwar-based Matri Sadan Ashram, Swami Nigamanand, who was on fast for nearly four months against quarrying in river Ganga. The minister also warned the mining mafia of strict action.

After battling for his life for 42 days at the ICU in Himalayan Institute of Medical Sciences (HIMS), Dehradun, the 35-year-old crusader for 'Save Ganga', Swami Nigamanand, died on Monday afternoon at 2.30 pm. The Swami was allegedly poisoned at a Haridwar district hospital by a section of land mafia for daring to oppose their activities.

Responding to the media queries about the Swami's death, Jairam Ramesh said he had sent a letter to Uttarakhand chief minister Ramesh Pokhriyal on January 6 last year, asking him to take steps to end illegal sand mining in the stretches of River Ganga at Haridwar. "I have spoken to the chief minister on a number of occasions that illegal mining is rampant in Uttarakhand... That illegal mining enjoys political patronage in the highest levels. Unfortunately, no action was coming from the state government over the last 15 or 16 months," he said.

"In view of the fact that the state government has demonstrated a continued reluctance to take action against illegal mining, I think, we will have no option but to invoke Section 5 of the Environment Protection Act and take action on our own." the minister warned.

Illegal stone quarrying and mining are rampant along the 80km Ganga stretch from Munni-Ki-Reti to Rishikesh in Tehri district and further to Laksar town in Haridwar.

The Save Ganga crusader, a seer at Haridwar's Matri Sadan Ashram, had been on a fast-unto-death since February 19. On April 27, officials shifted him to Haridwar district hospital as his condition deteriorated. But he refused to touch food. Nigamanand slipped into a coma on May 2. He was then rushed to HIMS where he was put on life support system.

Dr Vijay Verma, a close aide of Swami Nigamanand and president of Haridwar Citizen Council, alleged Swami Nigamanand suffered a heart attack at Haridwar district hospital after being injected poison by hospital staff, who worked in collusion with the land mafia.

On May 15, a Matri Sadan's functionary, Brahamchari Dayanand, lodged an FIR at Haridwar Kotwali naming a member of a stone-crusher association and a senior doctor for poisoning the Swami. Matri Sadan Ashram has accused the local police of succumbing to the pressure of mining lobby and dragging its feet to arrest those named in FIR. In view of these accusations, Haridwar district magistrate R Meenakshi Sundaram has said that an autopsy of the Swami would be conducted.

The Uttarakhand government had on December 10, 2010 banned quarrying and stone-crushing along the Ganga as the entire region is eco-sensitive. However, the association of stone-crushers in Haridwar managed to get a stay on the government order. On May 27, a two judge bench of the Uttarakhand HC vacated the stay on a special leave petition filed before it by Matri Sadan.