An elderly gentleman had a serious hearing problem for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted with a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% accurate.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet, I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
It's a wonderful World.
Packed with people of all ages, the Train started its journey. People going to their work, colleges, were awaiting for their stops to disembark and carry the day on. Seated near one of the Windows was an Old man and his 30 years or so aged, son. As the train moved, this 30 year old seemed overwhelmed with joy with every passing bit of scenery he saw. Jouyoulsy mentioning aloud to his father " Dad, did you see those Green Trees swaying with those winds, they are so beautiful, are'nt they? "
With every animal grazing around those lush green fields, and the brids flying high, as the train passed by, the son would, full of pride and joy say the same aloud and even clap his hands like a little child. This behavior went on for sometime, and people around were becomming a little perturbed by such a behavior of a grown up man. Tensed as they were about something or the other, most of the co-passengers of this Father and Son, said many things about the Son's behavior. Some were so irritated that they even told the Father of the 30 yeard old to ask him to keep his voice low. Some thought that he maybe insane or might be mentally disturbed.
Suddenly it started raining. and as the rain drops sprayed on the travelers through the open window, the 30 years old, filled with much joy, said to his father " Dad I could so far smell the ground when it rained, feel the wind in my hair and my hands, hear these people talking and moving about, but today i can see everything and all of these beautiful faces, and now i really know why they call this a wonderful world".
The 30 years old had been born blind, and had just got his vision back thanks to some donor, and this was his first day of re-birth into this wonderful world.
So at times, we may not know why or how a person feels as he talks or reacts, everyday is a re-birth for all, and dont be rude or hate anyone. None asked you to love or hate the other, so Live your life to the fullest, you may not wake up to see tomorrow.
With every animal grazing around those lush green fields, and the brids flying high, as the train passed by, the son would, full of pride and joy say the same aloud and even clap his hands like a little child. This behavior went on for sometime, and people around were becomming a little perturbed by such a behavior of a grown up man. Tensed as they were about something or the other, most of the co-passengers of this Father and Son, said many things about the Son's behavior. Some were so irritated that they even told the Father of the 30 yeard old to ask him to keep his voice low. Some thought that he maybe insane or might be mentally disturbed.
Suddenly it started raining. and as the rain drops sprayed on the travelers through the open window, the 30 years old, filled with much joy, said to his father " Dad I could so far smell the ground when it rained, feel the wind in my hair and my hands, hear these people talking and moving about, but today i can see everything and all of these beautiful faces, and now i really know why they call this a wonderful world".
The 30 years old had been born blind, and had just got his vision back thanks to some donor, and this was his first day of re-birth into this wonderful world.
So at times, we may not know why or how a person feels as he talks or reacts, everyday is a re-birth for all, and dont be rude or hate anyone. None asked you to love or hate the other, so Live your life to the fullest, you may not wake up to see tomorrow.
Some Interesting Facts.
Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?
A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.
Q: Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word m'aidez -meaning 'help me' -- and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.'
Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?
A: In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.'
Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.
Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing,he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.
Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.
Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'?
A:Invented in 1825,limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre,a performer 'in the limelight' was the centre of attention.
Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.
Q: In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from?
A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl,Louis, King of France , learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.' So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into 'caddie.
Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.
Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?
A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.
So there ! Now you know !
A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.
Q: Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word m'aidez -meaning 'help me' -- and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.'
Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?
A: In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.'
Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.
Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing,he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.
Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.
Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'?
A:Invented in 1825,limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre,a performer 'in the limelight' was the centre of attention.
Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.
Q: In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from?
A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl,Louis, King of France , learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.' So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into 'caddie.
Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.
Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?
A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.
So there ! Now you know !
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Just For Laughs - 03
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get his half yearly physical Examination.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that... I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Just for Laughs - 02
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Basic Military Laws - Just for Laughs
• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
• Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
• Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
• If the enemy is within range, so are you.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Tracers work both ways.
• Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
• Military Intelligence is a Contradiction.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• When in doubt, empty your magazine.
• The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
• Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
• The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
• The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
• If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
• To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
• The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the G-3.
• The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• The crucial round is a dud.
• There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
• Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
• Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
• Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
• The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
• If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict.
• If you enter CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will leave his office with the CO's idea.
ONLY WAY TO AVOID A BULLET IS TO RUN FASTER THAN A BULLET
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
• Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
• Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
• If the enemy is within range, so are you.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Tracers work both ways.
• Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
• Military Intelligence is a Contradiction.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• When in doubt, empty your magazine.
• The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
• Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
• The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
• The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
• If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
• To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
• The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the G-3.
• The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• The crucial round is a dud.
• There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
• Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
• Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
• Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
• The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
• If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict.
• If you enter CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will leave his office with the CO's idea.
ONLY WAY TO AVOID A BULLET IS TO RUN FASTER THAN A BULLET
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